still employed... YAY!!

Yep, so I went back to work today and I still have a job.
I was even told after the management reviewed the security cameras I was perfectly within in my right to react the way I did. I was essentially told I was being verbally assaulted and to not expect me to verbally respond would just be ridiculous.

That having been said, this means I can still go to Vancouver and pursue Animation Mentor.

However, in light of this, I am really attempting to find the route of the problem that led to this outburst.
The truth of the matter is that I have been stretching myself to thin and am just physically and mentally exhausted.  I've been working on a demo reel, directing an animated short, planning for Vancouver and working a full time job all at once. People have always told me that I push myself way too much and that it will eventually catch up to me at some point. And I think it finally has.

So, I'm very carefully going to start examining what I can do to alleviate much of the pressure I put on myself.

The first thing that I really plan to do is get out from behind the computer screen more often. In pursuit of my career to be an animator, this is what I spend all time doing. And I'm realizing now that this isn't working. I've neglected the things I used to do before I set out to be an animator. So, I'm going to try and get out more and go on bike rides like I used to and go the park and just walk around, and just try to experience more of life. And if anything, this will help become a better animator. After all animation is creating the illusion of life. What good is that if I'm not experiencing life itself because I am trying so hard to be an animator.

I have spent so much time focusing on the future that I've neglected the present. And the present is the most important thing above all other things.

As the great Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn once said "be mindful of the future, but not at the expense of the moment"

Wise words from a wise man. So that is what I plan to do.

Though I will still continue with my future plans, I am just going to slow down a bit and take a  more relaxed approach.

I'm going to try and give the chaos a bit more structure so it doesn't become so overwhelming.

So at this point, I'm really just going to focus my attention on the trip to Vancouver and it's planning.
Then I will focus my attention on another trip I'm taking to visit the Animation Mentor campus in November or December. Which will be cool and I was told I could even bring guests. Of which two people I know already are coming along. But the AM guy was like "the more the merrier" so it will be fun to gather more people for that.

That said though, I am really just going to focus on one thing at a time, and just see where it leads. Goals are great to have, but sometimes the goals can blind you to what you are really seeking.

I'm going to try and change this. :-)