Here comes the smolder...

Yeah, I'm excited cause tomorrow Tangled hit's blu ray. Nuff said!!

I may even forgo homework just so I can watch it several times and I don't forgo homework for anything. 

Crazy dreams

Yeah, this will be short. I had two very strange an different dreams last night. In the first dream, I was swimming nude in a calm sea. The second dream was that I got a job at Pixar.

The first one was just weird so I checked out dream meanings on the web and according to the meanings that swimming in a body of water is a representation of the womb and a source of creation. Makes sense. Also, if it's a calm sea, it means prosperous things are about to happen. I actually do buy into the meaning of dreams as I do believe that they are our subconscious telling us what will happen. Don't laugh!!


Then I had the second dream about getting a job at Pixar. A sign perhaps? I would like to think so, especially considering that I am going to have a kick ass demo reel in the coming months to start sending to potential employers.

Am I really expecting to get a job at a Pixar based on a weird dream and one demo reel? No.

Am I going down the road that will get me there? yes

Madness is like gravity... all it takes is a little push

Yeah. I feel like I'm totally cracking. So I've posted before about a little issue I have known as BPD (borderline personality disorder) and it's really rearing it's ugly little head this week. I'm currently in state where I don't want to do a damn thing. I'm pretty much not interested in going to work, going outside, or going anywhere for that matter. I just want to stay in this little shell and avoid everything and everyone. Which is sort of the problem. People with BPD are by their very nature lonely creatures because they shut themselves off from the outside world, and in my case all attempts to make friends are failing and all the friends I thought I had have not contacted me in months. I literally have not received a single phone call or text message from anyone in those many months. No phone calls or texts to say what's up? or hey, how you doing? I'm going mad from an absolute lack of human interaction. And the only thing that can really keep my mind off of anything is not possible with my computer being serviced at not being able to do any animation. In BDP terms, these moments that set off the episodes are referred to triggers. Well this week, it's really been one trigger right after the other and I'm just about to break and I can feel it getting worse. It's difficult also because anyone I have interacted with such family is starting to distance themselves because they all start getting that, 'uh oh, the ticking time bomb is about to go off' look and that just triggers me even further. If they had half a clue about anyone with BPD is that they don't really hurt others so much as they hurt themselves. That just sort of sets me off more than anything else. I don't think people will ever really get it. They are too busy passing judgment or pretending to think they know what is going on, but they know nothing. I'm at the point where I really just want to give up and throw in the towel.

A little hope found in tragedy

A dog protects another dog that was injured in the Japan earthquake and tsunami.

System failure!!!

Yeah, it's pretty much exactly as the title says. The beast of a machine that I purchased for better rendering and animation just had his mobo completely fucking go to shit. There was an issue when I purchased it but that went away and was not a problem until last night when it just dead. I'm pretty pissed because I'm in the middle of working on the layout for my animation and it could not have happened at a worse time. I now have Maya running on my laptop which is not working very well and I'm just hoping I can get this done before the deadline. Since it has been less than year since I bought the computer, HP is going to repair it for free and they say it will only be a week. It fucking better be because I was very clear that I needed this computer. Really, if a company is going to install shitty mobo's in their PC's, they need to have every square inch of their ass kicked. I don't exactly use the damn thing to browse the internet. I use it to pursue my passion for fuck's sake. Make a good machine people!!

On a side note, it's St Patty's Day. No one is allowed to pinch me since I am actually Irish and don't have to wear green.

 Oh and I found this and it's funny. Cause really, does anyone take Eminem seriously anymore or did they ever?

Next half of the semester

Artwork upload more than anything else. First up. 1 point perspective drawing.













Next up the ghost character for class my animation project set against my alley to determine what I will have to do to her in post to give her glow and transparency.

It's done at last!!!!

So So in my Fundamentals of Texturing and Lighting class, we had to texture an alley with photos we took ourselves. This project was the entire first half of the semester. We were literally working on the midterm from day one. It is now finished. I did two. One with the imported sunlight asset that was provided and my own creative version done with moonlight. So here they are, 7 weeks of work, sleepless nights and alot of painting and reworking.